This Smells Like My Vagina, Heretic
Product Name: This Smells Like My Vagina
Product Description: With a funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected scent, this candle is made with geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed to put us in mind of fantasy, seduction, and a sophisticated warmth.
Offer price: 75.00
- Scent Strength
- Scent Throw
A unique candle scent (with an equally unique name) that is unique, warm, and sexy.
- Even, clean burn
- The name…c’mon
Intro To My Candle Review
I know, I know. I vowed we would never do a This Smells Like My Vagina candle review. Gwyneth Paltrow’s famous (or infamous, depending on your point of view) candle was not a ‘real’ candle. It was just a gimmick. An overpriced container of wax with a “clever” name to get people to buy it. And from what we could tell, it certainly worked. The candle sold out within hours of hitting the market. Elton John reportedly bought the Vagina candle in bulk. Martha Stewart weighed in and blamed a bunch of horny men for its success. We were above all the hooplah. And if Martha wasn’t buying it, who were we to rock that boat?
But then…people kept talking about this candle. They wouldn’t pipe down about it. On and on and on. Our curiosity started getting the better of us. Should we do a This Smells Like My Vagina candle review? What was so special about this candle? Was it worth the money? Did it really smell like…well, you know.
Still, it really didn’t matter because this candle was sold out. We couldn’t get our hands on it if we tried. And then it happened. The candle was back in stock on Goop. It was available. We were under stay at home orders with a lot more time on our hands. It was the perfect storm and the rest is add-to-cart history. So. Here we are. We bought the candle. We tested the candle. And now we’ll give you our thoughts on the candle. Same as any other candle review. Or is it?
The first thing that struck me about this candle was the box…flower-y, to say the least. I’m guessing every little detail about this candle was carefully thought out, including the box. I see what you did there, Gwyneth.
Nestled inside was a unassuming 10.5 ounce, single wick candle in a sleek black ceramic vessel. There was a label on the front that included the scent name and company name. The label could easily be removed (and I couldn’t blame you if you wanted to do so). One thing that was a minor annoyance to me is that my label wasn’t applied correctly. There was a small wrinkle which obviously occurred as it was being applied. It was a minor thing, but if you’re paying a premium for a candle, I expect all attention to detail to be on point.
The wax was white and there was a single, well-placed, thick wick in the center. On cold sniff, I got a warm, almost spicy kind of scent that tickled my nose. I thought, ‘wow, this candle has a bite to it.’ See what I did, GP? Looking for the scent description, I found:
With a funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected scent, this candle is made with geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed to put us in mind of fantasy, seduction, and a sophisticated warmth.
Ambrette seed had to be what was grabbing my attention first and foremost. Warm and musky, a little bit sexy. Indeed, ambrette seeds are considered an aphrodisaic. Going back in cold, I may have gotten some of the cedar notes. I definitely didn’t detect any floral notes on cold sniff, which is what I was really expecting.
I decided to light this candle in a large bathroom so I could see what it would do. I checked the progress about 20 minutes and and…wow. It was already starting to fill the air with a warm, sexy vibe. Every now and then I could get the sharp sweetness of the bergamot. As the candle continued to burn, I started getting the floral notes which were well balanced with the spicy warmth of ambrette. Geranium is one of those scents that I find too heady on its own, but here, it wasn’t. It was just enough of it and it was truly beautiful. Intoxicating, even. This was NOT a “floral” scent, per-se. It was more of a warm, spicy kind of scent with floral and citrus notes swirled in the mix. It was an incredibly complex scent that instantly made me fall in love.
The scent itself was moderately strong and the throw was amazing! It completely filled the bathroom with its scent and spread on out into the adjacent bedroom. I love when candles have this combination of scent strength and throw. The scent was not overpowering but it was just strong enough, and I loved how it filled my space with its glorious fragrance.
As a side note about our ratings, the ‘authenticity’ score is based on the scent description provided. We have absolutely no idea if this smells anything like GP’s you-know-what, but we certainly hope not.
How Did My Candle Perform?
The burn on this candle was pretty flawless. I was able to get a nice, full wax melt pool in a relatively short period of time. The Heretic website states not to burn this candle for more than 2 hours at a time, and I did follow those instructions. Doing so, I noticed a nice, clean burn with no black sooting. My flame was a good size and never got out of control. There was absolutely no wasted wax on the sides as this candle burned on down. This was also a slow-burning candle, which takes some of the sting out of the price.
Closing To My Candle Review
That wraps up my This Smells Like My Vagina candle review. My curiosity has been satisfied. I got to try THE candle and – much to my surprise – I was really impressed. The candle scent is complex and the burn is fabulous. Am I going to buy more of these? Probably not, but I wouldn’t hesitate to try another Heretic candle, that’s for sure. I’ve been sold. Well played, GP. Well played.
Heretic is a fragrance brand that creates 100% natural, plant-based perfumes and colognes, founded in 2016 by Douglas Little. Little was the original founder of the candle company, D.L. & Company. Heretic carries a small selection of soy-based candles in their lineup. The company’s focus revolves around the complexity of scents found in nature. Little co-creates some fragrances with Goop founder, Gwyneth Paltrow, including the candle, This Smells Like My Vagina.
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