Tarter's Lament

#1 Nautilique

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Posted 22 February 2012 - 09:07 PM

So this morning, I was re-arranging some of my stash, getting rid of shipping boxes, etc. and I kept hearing a tune in my head - this is for all my sisters (and brothers) in wax.

[start beatbox rhythm - a little rap beat, please]
Posted Image

ready? here we go!

TARTER'S LAMENT
I am a waxaholic and I cannot lie
I look at vendor's websites and I always hit "buy"

A Facebook sale, you say? Now where's my wish list?
BOGO or free shipping, I simply can't resist

Everybody says that my house smells so nice
I know it's lotsa money but to me it's worth the price

My DH now, well he doesn't agree
If he knows I've placed an order he will start to lecture me

So I keep it all a secret, keep my PayPal out of sight
I'm gonna buy my waxies, just don't wanna have a fight

I sneak them thru the door to my son's closet floor
I just don't wanna hear "what, you've gone and bought MORE?"

*Candles* he still calls them, not their real name *tarts*
Little does he know I've filled at least a hundred carts

I stash them in my closet and up under the bed
I forget where all I've put them - man, I'm sick in the head

I keep some in a cabinet full, I guard them with care
DH would have a freakout if he saw what's in there

Flat rate shipping envelopes, priority mail
I cut those boxes up to bury in the garbage pail

Stray shipping peanuts give the secret away
So I clean up all the evidence each and every day

The mail lady knows what kind of trouble I'm in
She brings me all my packages and winks with a grin

"Addicted" you may say, Oh yes I know it's true
I keep on buying more and more, I've got quite a few!

Yup, I'm a waxaholic and I cannot lie
I'll be hoardin' up my waxies till the day I die!

This post has been edited by Nautilique: 23 February 2012 - 02:49 PM

LAURIE
"Be the change you want to see in the world" . . Mahatma Gandhi

#2 MaggieMae

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Posted 22 February 2012 - 09:30 PM

I couldn't have said it better myself!!!!

"Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened." ~Dr. Seuss

#3 Juletones

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Posted 22 February 2012 - 10:22 PM

Jules

#4 sweet&spiceygrl

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Posted 22 February 2012 - 11:50 PM

Laurie -

You got da beat! [smilie=th_smilies-1]

Too funny! [smilie=th_f5a39fcb]

"The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong."
~Laura Ingalls Wilder~

#5 Candlefind

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Posted 23 February 2012 - 12:38 AM

Nautilique, on 22 February 2012 - 09:07 PM, said:

ready? here we go!

TARTER'S LAMENT
I am a waxaholic and I cannot lie
I look at vendor's websites and I always hit "buy"

A Facebook sale, you say? Now where's my wish list?
BOGO or free shipping, I simply can't resist

Everybody says that my house smells so nice
I know it's lotsa money but to me it's worth the price

My DH now, well he doesn't agree
If he knows I've placed an order he will start to lecture me

So I keep it all a secret, keep my PayPal out of sight
I'm gonna buy my waxies, just don't wanna have a fight

I sneak them thru the door to my son's closet floor
I don't want DH to scream "what, you've gone and bought MORE?"

*Candles* he still calls them, not their real name *tarts*
Little does he know I've filled at least a hundred carts

I stash them in my closet and up under the bed
I forget where all I've put them - man, I'm sick in the head

I keep some in a cabinet full, I guard them with care
DH would have a freakout if he saw what's in there

Flat rate shipping envelopes, priority mail
I cut those boxes up to bury in the garbage pail

Stray shipping peanuts might give the secret away
So I clean up all the evidence each and every day

The mail lady knows what kind of trouble I'm in
She brings me all my packages and winks with a grin

"Addicted" you may say, Oh yes I know it's true
I keep on buying more and more, I've got quite a few!

Yup, I'm a waxaholic and I cannot lie
I'll be hoardin' up my waxies till the day I die!

Laurie... that was brilliant! And hilarious!!!! And - SO TRUE!!!!!!! [smilie=snoopy]

Christina

Candlefind.com
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#6 NMhoneybear

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Posted 23 February 2012 - 02:58 AM

Laurie, you are SO singing my song!!!! [smilie=th_giggle]

#7 debra99

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Posted 23 February 2012 - 03:44 AM

That is tooo funny. And tooo true! [smilie=th_friends]

#8 TJ'S Mom

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Posted 23 February 2012 - 04:14 AM

love it

Stella

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#9 Nautilique

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Posted 23 February 2012 - 11:27 AM

Thank you, thank you!
I hope ya'll "rapped" it in your heads, that's how I heard it!
[smilie=th_lmao-1]

LAURIE
"Be the change you want to see in the world" . . Mahatma Gandhi

#10 Boogie

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Posted 23 February 2012 - 12:29 PM

Yes, I did "rap" it as I read it ! Great writing, Laurie. This was super fun to read. [smilie=th_ahaaha]

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they choose.
Lao Tzu